sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I see more hoeing in ur future
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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