nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
