I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
