You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
