He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Randomize
