he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
My ATM looks so different sober.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
We need to get me chipped asap
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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