the new term for farting is butt boxing.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
