My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
