I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
