This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize