If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
