That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
