Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
