Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize