I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
