What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
