also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
