If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
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