last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
