the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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