I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
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