there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
