3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
