Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
