A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize