I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
