Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
