Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
