Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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