I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
