I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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