OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize