No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
