She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I lost the right to judge tonight
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
