So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
