is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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