you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I love having hate sex.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
