FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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