So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
