so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize