I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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