why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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