Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
