And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
