I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
