You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
