This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Randomize
