my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
