Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
