This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
