Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
