Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
