I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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