Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
