first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
There are leaves in my underwear?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize