we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I can't turn off my feet"
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
