I love black thongs
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
