dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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