Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize