I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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