he shaved USA in his pubs
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
