so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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