You made me cry and you don't even care
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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