we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Terrible idea I love it
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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